Blog #2: That Freaky Shit
Have you ever seen the movie, “Poison Ivy?” There was this scene in the movie that ALWAYS turned me on. It was pouring down raining and this younger girl was constantly trying to seduce her older male neighbor that she was crushing on. I guess that one day the tension had risen so high, he took the pussy right in the rain on top of the car, and of course you know they added some random music to it to steam it up more. I always have to squeeze my legs together every time I see that scene (judge if you must). I remember one day asking myself what would Jay (my husband) think if I told him this was my fantasy? He had to know he married a FREAK, right? So, I told him & thought no more of it.
One weekend months later, we were out of town for a quick getaway. As we were leaving an event (well I thought we were leaving), he pulls up a couple doors down to the front of a closed business; I am thinking, maybe he has to take a leak or something. Jay aggressively pulls me out of the car, and it begins to rain harder (true story). The next thing I knew I was face down, ass up on top of the hood, with him grabbing my neck from behind. You all just don’t know, I have always wanted to play out that scene and it just so happens the sky opened right up! YEEEEESSSSSS! I remember being so turned on that I literally orgasmed back to back, getting aroused even more at the thought of someone watching us. The more he grabbed my neck and pounded me, I didn’t know if what was dripping down my leg was my squirting action or the rain; didn’t really matter. It literally felt like I couldn’t stand up straight afterwards. We gathered ourselves together as if nothing had just happened and we both say, “What are we going to eat!” (I am currently chuckling)
When was the last or even first time you told your man or your lady what you really want to do sexually? I think many of us have been made to feel ashamed of what we naturally have desires to do. Times have changed ladies, you need to be who you are…NO MORE HIDING! SPEAK THE FUCK UP!!! A closed mouth doesn’t get fed, but if you make it known you’re a lot more likely to receive. Intimacy is so natural, and it feels so damn good! I really want you to sit back and think about things that you want to experiment with and what is really holding you back from it. We all need to bust that leg quivering, body numbing, and ready to eat and pass out kind of nut!
It feels so liberating to be able to express to Jay what goes through this head of mind. Sometimes I might get a laugh from him because it can be a bit off the wall, but he is so open to my sexuality that he ensures that I never feel shut down or like this insane freak that needs to be tamed by my desires.
Look… here is the deal, I am not totally oblivious to the fact that we are all raised differently and that up bringing can either keep you confined to a box or allow you to be as free as your mind will take you. As I continue to grow, I realize that it wasn’t until I turned 30 that I lost the emotion of caring what others thought of me. Think about it…when someone places judgment on you, does that really change your initial feelings? Hell No! You will probably not confide in that person in the future however, no one should ever be able to judge you to the point that it causes you to give up on what you want!
Whether you are married, casually dating or just keeping your options open, your lover should not make you feel ashamed about your wants and needs sexually. There are so many ways to express yourself; I could never cover them all. Some people want ass play, while other’s want bondage or an audience. Hey! If missionary is your thing that is okay too, as long as it satisfies that craving that you have. We are adults who know how to be RESPONSIBLE (I have to add that in), so why would you hold back on the thing you fantasize about at work, or the “come get it” position you do when you are trying to get your partners attention.
As you read my thoughts, remember this goes for your partner too. Don’t be the type of lover to shut down what their desires are even if it is not something you see yourself doing; at least listen and consider. There is a first time for everything, even with modifications!
The best thing I ever did was decide that my sexuality is who I am, and no one will ever again shame me for that. My name is Maria Anastasha and I proudly share my love for experimenting with my man sexually!
My last thought is this…We deal with enough bullshit with day to day adulting (ugggggh), why can’t we allow ourselves that sexual outlet to just RELEASE it all! I am asking you to gain the courage to walk over to your partner with that SEXY confidence and say…tie me up and make me beg for it!
Peace
Picture credit IG @ProsperousPrince
7 Responses
Omg. I love this posting because it speaks on my inner sexuality. I have my thoughts, wants, and cravings that continue to be unanswered as I cant seem to find the right one to understand the force behind “her”. With that behind said , I have to go unsatisfied…almost to where I hold back on what I truly want. I’m happy that you husband listens and responds to your needs… I’ll continue to wait, I guess..
Love that found freedom,
K
K,
I hate hearing that. It is very unfortunate that some lovers whether male or female are too stubborn to open their minds. There is so much to explore sexually that limitations should not be in anyones catergory. I continue to send positive vibes your way so that soon and I mean soon that person is going to come into your life and give you that back aching, walking bow legged the next day intimacy!
Thank you for sharing! I loved reading your thoughts!
Yasssssssss !!!!!!!
So I truly feel as though it takes the right person and comfort to express your inner naughty freak!!! Fear of rejection or judgement even from your partner !!! Let’s say the beast over here was let loose a little over 2 years ago! Now I have the fear of can I go back to normal if this should end!!!
We talk about going to Baltimore to check out the sexclub up there!
He is daddy and I am his freak!
Together we put 50 shades to shame!
He likes to dominate and I love being dominated!!
Spank me daddy!!
He’s a Gemini too so it has to stay different !!
If your partner can’t except your wants and desires and help please you then truly you will always be missing something !!
Yassssss boo!!! Love this !!!
You need a YouTube and I want to be a guest lol
YESSSSSSS Honey! I love it! I didn’t know that had those type of clubs in DC. We will have to check it out. We went to the one in Atlanta! We didn’t get to participate fully like I wanted to but the experience was AMAZING and I can’t wait to go back.
I know you mentioned your Beast being unleashed 2 years ago, what transition occurred in your life for you to be broken free of restraints?
1 thing I forgot to say is you were right on point when you said to start a youtube channel. I did yesterday! I just haven’t sent out the link the because I have 1 other thing I want to add but can’t until tomorrow night.
I would LOVE to have you on my channel definitely!
Smack it, Flip it, Rub it down….lol!! M, you are so right about being totally transparent and comfortable enough to probe your significant other about their desires & the quest of fulfilling them! Inside, (and you know this…lol!) I am an absolute freak, but honestly, lately, my libido has been quite repressed and as a result has shutdown my “inner freak”. I’m thinking its a combination of long work hours, a very rambunctious 2 year old ;0), & general stress. Do you have any tips on how to get that “inner freak’s ” fire burning again???
The first thing I would have to say is you HAVE to take time to yourself! We have to utilize any of the support systems that we have in order to free up that time for us. I went through the same phase. There was work, then school, then coming home to cook, clean, listen to the children, do homework, and cater to the husband. The thought of sex was irritating because when I finally got to chill I was too exhausted to be sexy! For the sake of you first of all and secondly, the sake of your relationship you have to get some of the things off your plate. It is very unhealthy to not express yourself sexually. You become easily agitated, lack of satisfaction in the other areas of your life that use to make you happy. Do NOT continue to suppress that “Inner Freak,” she will come out 1 way or another but you want it to be constructive. When was the last time you did something for yourself out side of the home and with no kids! I challenge you to take 1 day a week a few hours to yourself to do something that makes you smile or feel serene. That will help to open up some of the blockages that you are having, because they definitely are present! Remember we are trying to rid of self sabotage and the only way to do that is to start somewhere, and that somewhere is with you! No matter what you have going on in your life, there is ALWAYS time for self! I would love to share some self-care things that I like to do if you are open to listening?
Peace
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